Rest.

Rest(n):Relief or freedom, esp. from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.

Here is the dictionary definition for Rest.
My definition for rest is... non-existent.

Today was the first day for a few months I haven't had to work, and I haven't had to babysit. I had no idea what to do with myself. I sure "rested" by sleeping in until eleven, and then did my routine of laundry and chores and then went to the mall with my sister. But when I was by myself, in my room, doing nothing... I cried. Nothing happened at the mall, nothing happened yesterday to make me sad, but when I had nothing to do, emotions just flooded me.

I am busy all the time. My schedule usually consists of: School, work, homework, God time, sleep. Weekends: Clean my room, do my chores, do laundy, do my homework, work, God time, babysit, sleep. Repeat.

And I am exhausted. My Spirit is so tired and overloaded with schedules. I was talking to my sister about this,and she asked me, "Are you tired often? I'm going and going yet God is providing energy for me. It's good." And as I read that, I pondered the question and chuckled to myself. YES. I want God to provide energy for me, because I'm just exhausted!

I'm realizing rest is letting God take over the busy parts of my life completetly. Because there is no doubt that all of that is tiring, but God is bigger and desires that we find our rest in Him.

I wrote a song today when I was realizing this need in my heart for rest:

The way you love my Lord amazes me.
The voice I hear you speaking, it captures me.
How I long to be with you and finally see
Your majesty, your beauty.

I will not rest, 'til you're here with me, and I finally see your face.
I will not rest, 'til my throat is dry, proclaiming I am yours.
I will not rest, 'til I've stood the test and finally I'm home.
So come and live where only you can give me rest.

Only God can give me that rest the dictionary is talking about: the rest that frees us from wearies, troubles and burdens.

"Find rest my soul, confess your weary, surrender all, embrace your healing..."