Purity.

I wanted to write a blog about Job, but this has really been on my heart the last few days.

I've recently had such a desire to be pure. In my thoughts, in my motives, in my actions, in my speech. I want God to be honored through what I think and do. And more than that, I want my future husband to be honored through my actions now.

We live in such a sex-saturated world that it's almost hard to be pure. We wear purity rings on our fingers and then go sleep around. I know friends who have gotten pregnant, who, years before would have said "I won't have sex until my wedding night." It's sad, but everywhere on the media screams sex is no big deal.

I've been realizing how much chick flicks are like pornography for women. I'm not kidding when I say I'm addicted. When I go to redbox, I immediately go to the romance section and pick whichever one I hadn't seen already. I haven't seen a non-chick flick in awhile. Yeah, I know, it's pathetic. But I love the idea of romance. I love looking through bridal magazines and wedding photography to look at dresses and such. But it's giving me such a false perception of what romance really is. I don't want to expect anything like what I've seen in a chick flick to interfere with my next relationship.

And the pornography industry? Every second 28,258 users are viewing pornography. 47% of CHRISTIANS say pornography is a major problem in the home. The U.S. has 89% of all porn websites in the world. There was an atheist group at a college who encouraged people to bring in their Bibles in exchange for porn. (http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html)

...Seriously? Most men have had some sort of struggle with pornography. (Correct me, men, if I'm wrong) which hurts me. One of my fears for when I'm married is being a disappointment to my husband. Just like I may have a false perception of romance, I'm so afraid he will have a false perception of what I should look like.

"If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for very good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts."
-1 Timothy 2:21-22.

I want to live beyond living in the moment.
I want to be used by the Maker to do very good work because of my pure heart.
I want to honor my future husband.