Random realizations.

Things I have learned about myself lately:

1. I am not an angry person. I think this is genetic: Eberle's are notorious for patience. It takes a lot to get me angry- and even then, it only lasts for a few minutes until I realize it's not worth it. This will come in handy for my teacher days.

2. I love consistency but I don't mind change. I've learned recently that oftentimes they go hand-in-hand, but not always.

3. I love when people do little things for me. It means the world to me. When Cody and Tyler visit me at work, when Alyssa brings me chocolate after having a bad day, when Melissa writes me a note and puts it on my car, when the lady I babysit for sends me a facebook message just to let me know she's praying for me, when my sister cleans the excess toothpaste off of my toothpaste, etc. I have great people in my life who really care about me. I appreciate them so, so much.

4. I have had the most lame birthday parties for the past few years. 15 I had malaria. 16 I went out to dinner with my dad, but didn't see my boyfriend or any of my friends. 17 Sierra and I had absolutely nothing to do. I don't remember the last time I had an actual, planned party. And that's mostly because I don't like parties. I learned having a birthday in July is not good because everyone is gone on vacations. Since I already choose to keep few friends around me, that restricts my parties to a couple friends. I don't know what I'll do for 18 but maybe it should not be lame...

5. I am extremely vulnerable with people. This is great to write because I used to have a huge problem with people seeing my emotions and hearing about my life and my past. Now I can be read like a book and I will tell you almost anything you want to hear about me. I'm really happy about that.

6. I would love for my husband to sing "You're the Reason I Come Home" by Ron Pope to me someday. It's so sweet. (Or write me another song equally as sweet). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IctL_5C0WH8

7. I'm contemplating cutting my hair short. A little below chin length. I'm not sure how it would look considering my naturally curly hair. Thoughts?

I hope tomorrow is a snow day.
Ryan and I have a snow dance for the occasion.
It's supposed to get real cold. I love this weather (when I'm inside, that is.)

Sometimes

I want to leave my house in my bra and underwear because it's so much more comfortable.


I got accepted to ORU yesterday. I may write about that later.

Time for work.
...In work clothes.

Curiosity

Two posts in one night. I know, I'm going crazayayay.
I've been on a poetry kick due to AP Lit.

Curiosity
"may have killed the cat; more likely
the cat was just unlucky, or else curious
to see what death was like, having no cause
to go on licking paws, or fathering
litter on litter of kittens, predictably.

Nevertheless, to be curious
is dangerous enough. To distrust
what is always said, what seems,
to ask odd questions, interfere in dreams,
leave home, smell rats, have hunches
do not endear cats to those doggy circles
where well-smelt baskets, suitable wives, good lunches
are the order of things, and where prevails
much wagging of incurious heads and tails.

Face it. Curiosity
will not cause us to die-
only lack of it will.
Never to want to see
the other side of the hill
or that inprobable country
where living is an idyll
(although a probable hell)
would kill us all.
Only the curious
have, if they live, a tale
worth telling at all.

Dogs say cats love too much, are irresponsible,
are changeable, marry too many wives,
desert their children, chill all dinner tables
with tales of their nine lives.
Well, they are lucky. Let them be
nine-lived and contradictory,
curious enough to change, prepared to pay
the cat price, which is to die
and die again and again,
each time with no less pain.
A cat minority of one
is all that can be counted on
to tell the truth. And what cats have to tell
on each return from hell
is this: that dying is what the living do,
that dying is what the loving do,
and that dead dogs are those who do not know
that dying is what, to live, each has to do."

- Alastair Reid

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse rolled around in dirt.
Bahahaha. (Just for you, Sierra.)

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
... "Where's my tractor!?"
Bahahaha. (That was was for me, Sierra.)

And just for the heck of it, Sierra, I will use your name multiple times in this sentence, Sierra. Sierra! ;)

I've recently (about 20 minutes ago) discovered I enjoy doing hair. I like curling it and then putting it in up and playing with it. (In case any of you care, I curled my hair all over my head and then put it in a ponytail, then I took half of the strands of the curls and put them around the pony tail- just putting a bobby pin in the middle of the curl- and secured them with bobbypins. Then the remaining half of the curls I tucked under like a bun and secured with bobbypins).
One of my most favorite things is feeling pretty. I like getting dressed up and putting on dresses and doing my hair and make-up and putting on heels. I love it. Today was one of those days, unfortunately.

I discovered that I ALWAYS wear dresses/skirts on days it snows. Obviously, not purposefully. This morning, it looked sunny and it was. I should know Colorado better than that... But obviously, I don't.

Some girl in my EFE class (in 8th grade Spanish) asked me today,
"So how was your first day of high school?"
I replied, "Not bad, freshman year feels like a long time ago, though."
She gave me a blank stare and then said,
"Wait, what year are you?"
"I'm a senior."
She literally laughed out loud. I mean, an lol for reals, guys. And then she looked around at her homies who were looking at each other in disbelief.
"NO WAY! I thought you were a freshman or sophomore!"

...Ugh...
I don't normally mind looking young. But with my made-fun of senior pictures and school ID, my ability to wear the same clothes from 8th grade, The fact my 6th grade modeling pictures still display a spitting image of myself today... I would love to grow up a little bit. Just a little? Get some hips? Go crazy and get a tattoo?
I understand I'll appreciate it later. And like I said, I don't normally mind it. But 8th graders are so mean, blog...

That is all for tonight.

The Civil Wars.

You know those songs or artists you find that stop you dead in your tracks to listen to? Well, here's one of them: The Civil Wars. I've liked Joy Williams for awhile because of the the tone and control she has over her voice, but these two together compliment each other very well. They're very emotional. And the guy looks like Johnny Depp. Thank you, Ryan Pacheco, for introducing me to these people.

This one is full of oxymorons. "I don't have a choice, but I still choose you."




Ah, good music.

People Watching.

I'm at It's a Grind again. It's my new favorite place to relax- read my Bible, write blogs, do my homework, people watch...

Yeah, I like to people watch. It's interesting. It's fun to read people's body language when they are in an awkward conversations. Is that creepy? Don't tell me none of you do with when you're in a coffee shop...

(500) days of summer is a good movie. I watched it last night for probably the 15th time with some friends. Every time it's over I can't help but sigh happily, "Man, that is a great movie..." I watched it a couple weeks ago in Spanish. That was funny. They made Summer have this manly, mexican voice.

I just got done writing a synopsis of myself for my Intercom class. It's always interesting to write about yourself because you see the way you look at yourself and the things you like and hate about yourself. It shows the the bigger perspective on what's going on instead of just the day's "stuff" you have to deal with. You're forced to think about what's important in your life to put in a couple-paragraph paper. You see how you've changed and what you want to change in the future.

Lately I've decided I want to study abroad. The idea was in the back of my mind for awhile, but now I'm pretty set on it. I think I'll hang out here for a year and just get some general ed out of the way, and then hopefully sophomore year I'll go to Spain or Argentina and immerse myself in Spanish. I think it'll be the best way to learn the language as well as get away for awhile. I'm really excited about it.


I'm feeling very content about life.
There are people in the left-hand corner making out. Awkward. Kind of funny. See? People watching is fun.

"Your Generation and Numbers..."

I'm at school on the tiniest laptop in the world.
Last night I went to sleep at 1:30. It wasn't a good night. I don't know why I watched a scary movie before bed;
1) I hate scary movies,
2) It was a stupid movie. (Hide and Seek)

I fell asleep at 12:30 and then woke up from a terrible dream sobbing. I called Melissa and then finally fell asleep at 1:30. And then I woke up at 6:30 a.m.. I'm kind of tired. Boo for bad nights/bad dreams.

Why do scary movies intrigue us? Why do we pay money to be scared? I wish people actually read my blog so this could be a discussion. ;)

I'm going to talk about work for a minute (or two).
I like working at Taco Bell.
The way I look at it; I want to be a spanish major. I will be paying money to learn how to speak spanish. At Taco Bell, I am being paid to do what I want to major in.

With that being said, I get my fair share of... interesting... customers.
Yesterday I had this guy come in and order 12 tacos for a special deal we had. It's 10 cents more per taco for soft tacos.

I explained this to the guy when he said he wanted 12 soft tacos.
"Sir, is it okay that it will be 10 cents more per taco for the soft tacos? So, $1.20?"
"Ugh, I guess. And you mean $1.40, I understand, we all have our days."

I laughed awkwardly and said,
"Well, no. 12 soft tacos would be $1.20."
He laughed and looked down at the floor,
"Your generation and numbers... Okay, I'll get 8 soft tacos and 4 crunchy."
He raised his voice and looked at me,
"So that'll be 80 cents more for my soft tacos!"
He laughed and shook his head like I was stupid.

So now you know how to do math?

I wanted so badly to look at him and say, "Haha, oh, no worries. You can't count. We all have our days."

But I ust let it go. The customer is always right... (biggest lie in the book)

I've been reading Hosea lately.
In spanish.
It's quickly becoming one of my favorite books of the Bible.

Hasta pronto, blogue. Buenas suenos, espero que mejor que la mia. ;)

1.11.11

I just made a wish.
It's 11:11 on 1.11.11.

Sweet.

It's snowing again. Gloomy weather makes me happy. Is that weird?

I've been liking this song lately. Kind of a cheesy animation but it's kind of cute, too.



Goodnight, world.

It's a Grind.

SNOW DAY TODAY!
I'm sitting in Its a Grind and doing my homework, listening to William Fitzsimmons, drinking a white hot chocolate. I'm feeling productive. And I'm feeling good about life. Nice feeling.

There's this little two-year-old boy sitting right next to me in a chair that's about 6 times the size of his body. It's adorable. I can't wait to have kids. I think if I fail at everything in life and succeed in only one, it will be being a good mother (At least I hope).I can't wait to be a mom. All of my fears revolve around kids: being infertile, having a child with a mental disability, having a miscarriage, having an ugly child, etc. (Joking about the last one. How is that even possible with my genes? ;) )

If I have it my way, my plan is this:
1) Be engaged in my last year of college.
2) Be married by 21 or 22.
3) Have kids by 23 or 24.
4) Have 2 or 3 kids naturally and adopt 1 or 2.

I know God may have other plans for me than those... But like I said, if I had it MY way...

Okay, so there was that cute little kid. Now there's this creepy guy sitting at the fireplace talking to himself. It's freaking me out.

I'm going to go home.

Nobody puts Blankie in a corner. (or box)

I'm going to try to start writing a blog every day or at least a couple times a week. I get on these writing binges- usually it's in the form of a new journal or a new theme or I write poetry or songs or stories... you get the point.

I have about 10 different journals all for different things. I have an entire journal set apart for "definitions of words I don't know." And another is for "spanish words I learn". I like writing but it usually only lasts for short amounts of time. So get it while it's hot.

I went to that new church today. Didn't like it. Bummer. :/ The two churches I've been to in the last 3 weeks have been sad for me, honestly. One of them talked about Jesus' second coming like it was an unavoidable fate that we just have to suck up and deal with. It was like, "Jesus is coming back. So get ready." (It made me think of the song that goes 'One day, I'll see you coming back for me, and all together we'll flyyyy awaaaayyy...' Yeah? Anyone?) Trying to candy coat the second coming like Jesus is going to come and snatch up some people and then, well, the rest of them we'll just not think about. So just save err'ybody out there.

Today at this other church I was amazed when I walked in. The building was spectacular. The worship room was top-notch. They had a different color for each song. One of their main core values was to "attract people to Christ" and that was obvious. The pastor boasted of how the attendence had gone up 35% in the last year. It was nice, it was cozy, it was distracting me from actually worshipping.

Am I really being that picky? Or is the Body of Christ called to be more than making people feel comfortable? All I saw in those two churches were comfort. And if there's anything in the New Testament I learned about Christianity, it's that being the Body of Christ is NOT always comfortable. I'm not saying, "Well, in order for a church to be a good church, at least half of the congregation needs to be beheaded." But it's got to be more than lights and coffee and attendence numbers and comfortable topics. Comfort is what I believe will kill God's original design for the church.

Anyway, the reason I'm looking around for another church is for the sole purpose of finding an accountability group or somewhere I can plug in. I feel very disconnected and want some godly people to help me through life. Trying to take the proactive route as opposed to the "woe is me" route. Anyone know some good churches in the Springs?

The best part of today: I got my blankie back. :) :) :)

I had this pink blankie that I took with me everywhere. There is one day that is still vivid in my mind: when my mom took my blankie away. I cried and begged for my blankie but I was a "big girl" and I needed a "big girl toy". But today, I was looking through my momentos box, and found my blankie.

I HAVE IT. HA, MOM. HA.
Can't take a girl's love for her blankie away from her for long.

I may have posted this quote before, but I like it. So here it is again. It's from C.S. Lewis' Four Loves:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.
Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change.
It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."


I'm going to call it a day.

NOBODY PUTS BLANKIE IN A CORNER.

Pore-clogging garbage.

I decided to take up the art of casual blog writing. It's new for me. It's like switching from writing autobiographies to some pre-teen novella. I don't mean that I want them to be shallow... but they might be. I just want to ramble. Say what's on my mind. I will probably get deep sometimes too, I just need more of a balance.

Casual. Casual.

I've been telling myself I would do my homework for two hours now. I wrote a letter to my compassion child, had a quarter-life-crisis (Thank you, John Mayer) and wanted to buy a brand new car (2011 hundai accent to be exact- still not over this crisis), made my bed, sorted through my letters, went on facebook... ended up here.

Oh, and also, found out my face "moisturizer" I've been using was actually body lotion.

Okay, the bottle says it's a "moisturizer." Little did I know that there's a difference between face moisturizer and body "moisturizer." Seriously? They're going to confuse me like that? One is intended to make your face soft and not dry. The other actually is intended to clog your pores and make you get zits. (If put on your face.)

I go into the bathroom tonight and I'm looking at my face about to wash it with this great-smelling stuff and I tell my sister who is walking in, "my face has been breaking out like crazy. Lots of stress, probably." And she tells me, "Oh, I've been meaning to tell you, that moisturizer is not for your face. Have you been using that?"
"Uh, yeah."

Well there you have it folks. Give me about a week to go back to my normal face. I'm embarrassed. But not embarrassed enough not to post it on my blog.

My senior year is almost over. I know this semester is going to fly by and I'm stoked. I can't wait to just be a "college kid" just because the title makes me feel like I'm older. Then i'll be able to pursue my major. I want to be a high school spanish teacher. I'd love to go to Ecuador some time, or some spanish-speaking country and just chill there for a month or two. Or more. Really, I just want to get away...

Next year, I'm so undecided about what I want to do. I want to stay here and get my general ed done because it's the "smart thing to do". Save money. Everyone says I'm making the right decision. I'm trying to find an apartment or a house with some girls because I want to move out. I love my parents, but I really just want some freedom. Anyone interested?
I'm also still considering going to ORU next year. Just for the reason I want to leave. Start somewhere fresh. Meet new people. I'm praying about it, we'll see.

Yeah, I'm still working at Taco Bell. Stop asking that question so condescending, people. "Are you STILL working at Taco Bell?"
Yes. YES I AM.

I'm checking out a church tomorrow. I'm excited about it.

I saw Black Swan yesterday. Here's how I feel about it in a word:

WOAH.

Yeah. I liked it. There were definitely some questionable scenes. But it was a masterpiece.

I'm feeling good today.

Minus my face.